I’ve written about my crazy neighbours before and if you follow me on Twitter you might have come across the odd live tweet of the ridiculous late night fights I have the privilege and burden of being exposed to. It never fails that the nights I am really exhausted or take a sleep supplement to ensure I get a whole nights sleep (I struggle with staying asleep on a good night) that my neighbours decide to start up one of their ridiculous and sometimes terrifying fights. As it so happened last night was one of these nights. I have a few things I do to alert them to the fact that I can hear them and don’t appreciate their crazy- such as writing a passive aggressive blog post! Here are some other ways I cope with my crazy neighbours.
1. Go to the Bathroom
The first thing I always do, besides “muttering” about the time or stupidity of what I am hearing, is to go to the bathroom. Now, I may not actually have to go to the washroom but I make sure I stomp loudly and slam the light switches on and off repeated on my way. That rarely gives them pause but makes me feel better. Next I flush the toilet, several times. The way our apartments are lined up my bathroom shares a wall with their main living room- where the fighting generally takes place, and is also just off the front door. Both wall and door are less sound proof than the toilet paper in my bathroom so you can literally hear everything from that point on either side of the wall. Maybe they just think I suffer from bad bouts of IBS around the same time as their fighting, as this is usually ineffective.
2. Make a Midnight Snack.
Again, I may not be hungry or even have food to make but I make sure to let them know they have woken me up by slamming my fridge, cupboards and rattling dishes. This sometimes earns a moment’s reprieve especially when I bring out the pots and pans. A moment is usually all I get.
3. Play Video Games
At this point I start fighting fire with fire. I will turn on a loud first person shooter, or similar, game and crank my volume to the max. I will then proceed to shout profanities at my television as I play. After about twenty minutes or so of this they may stop or they may decide that they can scream louder than my television.
If none of the above work its time to pull out the big guns. I find my ipod, put on my headphones, sit in the hallway by the shared wall and start to sing loudly and off key. I used to just sing whatever was shuffling through my ipod, but I have recently discovered that singing love songs and ballads is extremely effective. I feel as if I am doing them a service, serenading them and reminding them of why they got married in the first place. Or else I guilt them into shutting up. Either way after a song or two this usually works and they take their fighting elsewhere in the apartment or stop all together.
How have you passive aggressively dealt with fighting neighbours in the past? I’m always looking for new tricks!
Sorry I’ve been MIA- Camp NaNoWriMo was ridiculously time consuming and I couldn’t keep up with everything on my plate. Look forward to semi regular posts again in May.